I'LL END THIS WITH A FUCK YOU

Thu, 24 May 2007 05:36:52 GMT

It's been a while so I figured I'd drop a little entry just to say I am alive, things are good, & I'm rather happy, I'm not sure why cause theres no man around, & I'm still in debt but yeah I'm on cloud 9 & still heading up.
My Skitz has had her babies, & we have nick named them, plus mum's decided she's keeping 1 so good on her, if thats what she wants to do then so be it, I know I'll be the 1 having to share my bed with her.

But yeah now you people know I'm alive & I'm not sure what else to say........

So hope all is well & yeah...

cu

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 09:18:08 GMT

So over the past 3 weeks Ive had 4 days off so far from sober driving, it's been great, it gets me out of the house, it lets me have a life & better still I'm able to get myself & who ever Im sober driving home as safe as I possibley can cause I can't say what other people on the road are going to do, but anyway, some days I get home before midnight & others Im home before 7am it depends how the night goes.

but thats not the reason for my entry.

My hobby, Cross stitch is starting to earn me some money, I have just fisshed a wall hanging for a friend with pink ribbons, teddies & dolls with the name, date of bitrh, place of birth, time of birth & weight for his daughter. I got $40 for it, cause I have no idea what they go for or anything like that. I have seen some around but never caught the price, but hey it's a start aint it.
I've also been typing up some letters for some friends for when they want to resign from their job, review a decsion, apply for a job or what ever the reason might be, & each time I do it, I'm getting better & faster, it wont be long till my speed & accuracy is up again, & who knows I may even be able to ask them for some kind of refference or something along those lines cause none of them have complained. Maybe that's just due to the fact they didn't have to do it them selves

My Cat Skits has had her kittens & she's a great first mum. Every morning she has to lead you to see them so she can show off, Shes loving all the attention she's getting where Socks & Speck aren't loving it to much but thats ok they get plenty of attention at night so I try to make up for it cause they are outside during the day, plus I don't want them to feel like they aren't wanted & run away.

Anyway all the lack of sleep is catching up so I'm off to bed,

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 01:04:43 GMT

21st on sunday went ok, I had drinks on friday for it cause sunday was going to be a 'family' day but ohh no me & Danni got rather plastered. I didn't want anything big, I was going to then I changed my mind. Im good like that, got sweet fuck all but had a fantastic time & no fucking hang over, it was great, Danni was a bit green but didn't want to admit it.

anyway thats all for now, Ive gotta dash, cu

Beware!!!!

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 07:54:43 GMT

Only do if you have to much time on your hands

1] Full name: Sarnia Hope Thorburn

2] Nicknames: a few

3] School: yeah way back then

4] Email: Fuck ya, if you don't have it then tough shit

5] Eyes:Blue/Grey

6] Height: 5'3 - 5'5

7] Siblings: to many. 1 younger & at least 4 older that we know of.

8] Ever been kissed: Yeah

9] Ever cheated or been cheated on: cheated on yes, do I care say who no. y cause they will read this & it was to many years ago & we have moved past that.

10] Ever missed school because it was raining: No

11] Ever faked sick? these days who hasn't

12] Had an imaginary friend? No

13] Wanted to hook up with a friend? yes, & it happened, didn't work out but we are still friends
14] Cried during a Flick? dont think so

15] Who is your celebrity crush? noone

-----------------FAVORITES----------------
16] Drink: Coke

17] Food: chicken, haven't i answered this. (nope thats right I worked from the bottom to the top)

18] Color: black

19] Summer or Winter? Summer

20] Online or offline: Online

21] Lace, silk or satin? Lace

23] Who have you known the longest out of your friends? Kirston

24] Who are your shyest friends: not sure

25] Who do you go to for advice? Bob, Nicola

26] Who do you get along with? Most people.. I have my moments :D

---------IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS HAVE YOU----------
27] Cried: pass can't remember

28] Been mean: yes, aren't I always

29] Been sarcastic: yes far to often

30] Been yelled at: Yes

31] Called someone you have a crush on? No, but I have seen someone I have a "crush" on does that count?

32] Hugged someone: yes

33] Wished upon a star: no

34] Laughed until you've cried: yes

35] Played Truth or Dare: yes

36] Went to the beach at night? no

37] Are you lonely? no

39] Are you talking to someone online? no

-----------DO YOU BELIEVE IN.......------------?
40] God/Devil: the devil.

41] Love: yes, has it ever worked out, DONT BE FUCKING FUNNY

42] The Closet Monster: no

43] Heaven/Hell: hell

44] Superstitions: pass

45] Half empty or half full: 1/2 empty

46] Who named you? The dog, who do you think

-----------RANDOM/OTHER------------
47] Favorite quote: - I'm sure you fell out of the ugly tree & hit every branch possible on the way down

48] When was the last time you showered? this morning

49] What is the last thing u said online? have been on for a few nights so it was probably "Cu" to Jacqui

50] What is right next to you? tv or stereo

51] What is your computer? I have 3 take ur pick, 1 laptop, 2 pcs

52] What was the last thing that you did: Myth busters

53] Where do you want to go on your honeymoon? A bach in the middle of nowhere

54] Where do you want your wedding? in a open area

55] How's the weather: Coolish

56] Thing that you find attractive about some one of the opposite sex: Hair

57] How do YOU eat an Oreo? They are yuk

58] Favorite TV shows: CSI, CSI miami, CSI Nw York, Crossing Jordan, Bones

59] What do you want to be when you grow up: pass

60) Favorite radio station: Edge

61) Favorite band: Pass

62) Favorite days of the week?: Wednesday

63) Favorite animal(s)?: All

64] Favorite Store?: Pass

65] If you could change your name, what would it be? To be honest I wouldn't change it, my name has meaning to my family

66] Do you sleep with a stuffed teddy? between 4 cats, sometimes 5 & myself theres not enough room for a stuffted teddy bear

67] The most stupid thing you have ever done?: to many too list

68] On the phone or in person? on the phone unless I'm already heading that way

69] Lust or love?: Pass

70] If you could change something about yourself, what would it be? Pass

71] When's your birthday?: April 1

72] Do you have any pets?, 2 cats - Speck & Socks. 1 Rat - Boris, 1 Dog - Podge & 2 Finches - Bob & slob

73] Who sent this to u?: I copied it off Kylene's LJ

74] What do you think about this person?: I don't know, I'm getting tired, infact I don't think Ive been reading these questions right from the begining, as me tomorrow

75] Your favourite song?: Ying Yang Twins - Naggin

76] Anything u want to say to everyone?: yeah this quiz sucks! it's to long & has far too many fucking questions!!!!!

77] What did you want to be when you were younger? a dj

78] What's your favorite type of music? RnB

79] What do you spend most your time doing? fixing cars

80] Would you rather stay at home or go out? go out

81] What is your favorite 'fast food' restaurant? pass

82] What is your favorite restaurant? hate them

83] Are you a farmer? No

84] If you could marry anyone who would it be? wont say

85] How much do you think about the opposite sex? not that often

86] What's your favorite toothpaste? I don't know, it's pretty much all the same

87] What kind of grades do you make? Good ones if Im interested, but ones if Im not

88] If you could go anywhere where would you go? Wont say

89] How many people do you live with? 4

90] What is your favorite sport? Cricket & Soccer & Hockey

91] How many kids do you want? 1 maybe 2

92] What would you name them? I'd name a boy nate, not sure about a girl

93] What color lip-gloss/lipstick do you usually wear? None

94] Coke or Pepsi? Coke

95] What's the last thing you bought from a Pharmacy? Synflex for me & a preggers test for a friend

96] Have you ever been in a wreck? Yes

97] When do you usually go to bed? between 9:30 & 11pm

98] What’s the worst thing you ever did? Wont say

99] Are you a goth? I don't think I am, but I like the goth stuff

100] How many friends do you have? enough, at times too many

101] What's your greatest accomplishment? Getting my licence so far

102] What do you plan to be when you're older? at this stage I'll be 50 before I have any qualifications to do anything.

103] What's your favorite PJ's? My black 1s

104] What's your favorite thing to do? Drive

105] What color hair do you have? Brown

106] Do you sing well? Pass

108] Would you eat a cockroach for $500? I'm not fucking stupid

109] Are you afraid of the dark? No

110] Are you bored? Yes

111] Where's the last place you've been? The super market, had to buy something for tea & milk

112] Do you wear a lot of black? Yes, theres not many other colours I own

113] Do you get along with your parents? 98% of the time

114] Would you consider yourself popular? Haha no, but others say yes

115] Do you live in the country? No, but I want to

116] Most painful experience? About 2 & a bit years ago

117] Most happy experience? Road trip with Danni

118] Have you ever been stalked? I'm not sure

119] Have you ever egged a house? A house no, a Car yes, I did that with Chris.

120] Do you go hunting (deer,duck,etc)? I use to go out & hunt pigs with friends

121] Do you support PETA? No, am I suppose to?

122] Do people think you're crazy? Yes, Yes they do

123] How many people on your buddy list? Pass

124] Do you ever scream into a pillow? Nope not now but I have, didn't change anything though

125] How many songs do you know all the words to? Pass

126] Do you listen to The Beatles? No

127] Do you listen to Eminem? Yeah alot most than I use to

128] Do you know anyone who thinks they're Eminem? HAHA No

129] Do you read books often? No

130] Do you strive to fit in? No

131] Fave gum? - Cola

132] Do you snore? I wouldn't know, I'm not awake to hear myself

133] Are you afraid of thunderstorms? Nope

134] Do you care what you look like? No not really

135] Is your hair color fake? Yes

136] Whacha wearing? clothes

137] When's the last time you talk to anyone? 2 minutes ago

138] Do you 'fall in love' easily? Yes & no.

139] What's your best physical feature? Pass, I say none ask someone else

140] What attracts you most to the opposite sex? Hair

141] Are you picky about who you date? No not really

142] Do you like roller coasters? Yes

143] Have you ever flown in a airplane? Yes

144] Do you have 'big' feet? I don't think so but a few others say I do.

145] Do you wear make-up? once in a blue moon

146] Have you ever went bungee jumping? Yes
147] Ever been to Paris? No & I don't want to go

148] Do you believe in Vampires? No

149] If you could become a Vampire, would you? Yes

150] Would you call yourself normal? No, I wouldn't even call myself sane

151] Have you ever gone skinny dipping? No

152] Have you ever stolen anything? Yes

153] Do you eat seafood? Yes

154] Have you ever been drunk or high or both? Yes

155] Ever drove while drunk? No

156] Do you drink a lot or at all? I drink, not half as much as I use to but I have been making up for it

157] Have you ever lit yourself on fire? No maybe I should try it

158] How many people do you trust with your life? 3

159] Are you considered intelligent? No, funny that yet Ive managed to get the people who say Im not intelligent out of the shit more times than one

160] Are you considered a nerd? Danni would say Yes, but a few other people would say no.

161] Do you talk on the phone a lot? No

162] How often do you take a shower? Once a day if theres enough hot water after everyone else has used it

163] What kind of body wash do you use? I don't know, & I'm not getting up to find out
164] What's your favorite candy bar? Turkish delight

165] Ever got a detention? Yes

166] Ever been suspended? Yes

167] Do you like jaw breakers? Yes

168] What color is your room? I haven't been looking at the colour of my room.

169] What do you say a lot? it's either "fuck" or "I need a smoke"

170] What's your worst personality trait? I react without thinking 1st
171] Are you listening to anything? the tv

172. Who do you get along with best? The dog

173] Who do you fight with a lot? No-one now, I bite my lip & walk away less hassel & far less shit

174] Who is your funniest friends? Toni-Ann

175] Do you talk too much? no, apparently not enough

176] Ever fell asleep in class? yes

177] Can you do a cartwheel? Yes

178] Ever been camping? yes
179] Shorts or jeans? Jeans, Im not a shorts person

180] Double dates or just the two of you? neither

181] When's the last time your parents spanked you? WTF

182] Know people who belong to a gang? yes

182] Have you smoked a ciggarette before? yes & still do

183] Indoors out outdoors? indoors that way I don't have to see people I dont want to see.

184] Have you ever gotten beaten up? Yip.

185] Do you know how to cook? Nuh, I oder in & say I cooked it, what the hell do u think. of course I bloody do

186] Do you know how to do laundry? Yes, stupid fucking question

187] When you get a pizza, how many slices do you eat? if Im lucky 2

190] Do you consider yourself too fat/skinny? neither, Im happy with my weight, I might want to loose some but if I don't then I dont care as long as I dont gain anymore

191] What's your least favorite color? Pink!!!!

192] Ever done something illegal? Yip, just the other day actually

193] What's the longest you've stayed up? 2-3 days maybe a bit longer.

194] Are you afraid of dying? No

195] Is your name on any bathroom walls? better not be

196] Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? No, & after the last few Im thankful

197] What annoys you most? people starting to say something & then stoping, or always interrupting

198] Do you have an accent? No

199] Who is your role model? hard to say

200] Do you like surprises? No

201] What's the ideal age to die? 70+

202] Ever took ballet? No,

203] Bold or pastel colors? bold

204] What brand do you wear most? pass

205] What do you normally watch on TV? what evers on
206] Can you swim? Yip

207] Can you play a musical instrument? Probably not now

208] What star sign are you? Aries

209] Do you prefer public schools or private? a school is a school

210] Do you care what people think? lately no.

211] Have you ever shot a gun? Yes

212] How many hours of sleep do you normally get? at least 8

213] Blue ink or black ink? Black

214] Are your clothes mostly loose or tight fit? mostly loose

215] Have any piercing? Yes

216] Gold or silver? silver

217] What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use? which ever is closest

218] Do you blow dry your hair? once in a blue moon

219] What do you sleep in? PJs

220] Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera? If you had asked me a few years back you would have gotten answer

221] Have you ever broken a bone? Yes more than my share thank you.

222] Shower or Bath? Shower

223] Have you ever wore braces? No

224] What do you live in? A cardboard box what the hell do u think

225] Would you choose true love or to be rich? Right now, rich, tomorrow maybe love so it depends on the day

226] Do you wish on stars? Nope

227] If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Black

228] Favorite drink? coke

229] Favorite sport to watch? Soccer & Cricket & Hockey

230] Have you ever dyed your hair? Yip more than I can remember

231] Do you wear contacts or glasses? No

232] Pets? yes.

233] Favorite month? January

234] Favorite food? Chicken

235] What was the last movie you watched? Pass

236] Favorite day of the year? the 1st day.

237] What was your favorite toy as a child? How am I suppose to know, it's that long ago

238] Fall or Spring? Fall

239] Hugs or kisses? Hugs

240] Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry

241] Living arrangements? Mum, Brother, Brothers Girlfriend, Trev, and many animals

242] When was the last time you cried? pass

243] What is on the floor of your closet? Boxes of crap

244] Who is the friend you have had the longest? Alisha, but we don't talk much now, but still friends

245] What did you do last night? went to sleep eventually

246] What are you afraid of? a few things

247] Plain, cheese or spicy? spicy

248] Favorite car? Pass, it changes often

249] Number of keys on your key ring? 2

250] Have you ever done weed? Yes

251] How many provinces or states have you lived in? 4

252] How many cities have you lived in? 3

253] tennis shoes or flip flops? tennis shoes

254] Steak or chicken? Chicken

255] What is your occupation? Being a bitch

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 12:13:13 GMT

So my moving plans aren't going any where soon. By the time I'm out of debt & have set enough money aside & got qualifications for the area I want to work in & have been given approval to work in by the doctor it will be to late. In a way I wish I had gone down the path I first choose but then again if I had I wouldn't have meet any of the great people I have.

The 1 thing I really want I can't have because of everything hanging over my head, it seems that as fast as I make 1 dent in something another thing pops up. I really feel my 1 chance at happiness is so far away but it feels like its so close. Everyone keeps telling me to go for it, but I can't, I have this anchor around my feet stopping me from moving anywhere and I know what I want isn't going to make its way here to stay, maybe a flying visit & that would be it. And before you ask, no I'm not saying who it is & yes they do know how I feel. I suppose I could get out of Debt with my step nanas help & shit like she has offered, but I think I'm afraid of the whole moving thing again plus I dont want to be like some people who depend on their parents or grandparents to bail them out. I did say that if I did get in over my head then Id accept some help but I don't want her to clear all off it, I still want to feel like I'm making an effort of my own. But then again if I take her help it means I could possible move, but by that time I still can't be sure if it's to late or not.

I have an appointment with some doctor on friday about my ankel & a part of me is worried, but the other part of me is feeling relief because I could soon find out whats wrong with it. My doctor put me onto this guy thru ACC which means I don't have to pay, which is a bonus, my Doctors bill is already up over $100 because of this bloody thing. But both him & I agreed to hold off on the physio & see what this other doctor says, all I want to know is if it's going to heal by its self in time, or is it going to need help, via an op or physio. I hope I don't have to go back to physio, I'm sick of the throbbing pain afterwards & the swelling that happens.

I also saw my doctor about my back, well ok I didn't make an appointment, Saturday I was sitting in the car & I had this twitch in my back & then I felt all yuk & sore so mum took me up to the doctor & he had a look & saw how hard it was for me to do anything. Ive been trying to tell him for months what it felt like but he didn't understand. It often happens once which is normally the worst 1 & then over the next few days it happens but not half as bad. So he took some xrays & has refured my on to a different specialist. Theres some long fangled name for whats wrong with my back but basically its a curverture of the spin. I was told a few years ago if 1 of the curves were more than 15 degrees they would do something. At that time the top curve was 15 degrees, the middle 1 was 27 degrees & the lower 1 was 17 degrees. Yet nothing was done, but now that I'm getting pinching my doctor thinks it might be increasing & it could be pinching the nerve between the shoulder blades so he wants another opinion. About bloody time I say.

Thats the other thing, my 5 year mark is comming up for my depo so I have to get a Diabetes check, I'm not worried, infact I had completely forgotten that being on the depo for a long period of time could increase the risk until my doctor reminded me that I never had 1 after 2 years, but all good, I'll get around to it at some point this year, hopefully. Nuh I'll get around to it, I have to for my mothers piece of mind, I might even make an appointment during the week to do it if it will make her get off my back & if it will shut the rest of the house hold up.

The repairs are coming along on the honda, only have the number plate light to secure to, ohh any put 1 seat belt in now that we have grinded off the bolt, when we took it out of the wreck that we had here the sheet metal ripped to bolt & all came but the bolt wouldn't come loose. Ohh & I have found a new tool that I want. I want a air impact thing that takes the wheel nuts off cars. Trev has 1 & I was allowed to use it today with his supervision of corse but it was great, it would make some of the jobs on cars so much easier to do, it's a pitty they are so big though, theres a few gaps that are to small that the great tool would be good on.

Anyway I'm getting the hurry up from a certain person to finish this, I don't think I have missed anything out so Good morning or Good night, depending on if you have slept yet, or if your heading off to sleep.

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 02:46:35 GMT

So I said a while agao I was going to update on everything that has gone on in the past month.

I'll start with the trip to Wanganui, I know I have mentioned it but now is the time to elaborate more seeing as I have the time.

I picked up Morgs from school & headed to Danni's & Wendy's, I had only just sat down & Danni wanted to go, but first I had to roll a smoke, put the 2nd bandage on my foot, check my ph & then have a drink. So after that was done we all jumped in the car. The whole trip I had Kelly's knees digging into the back of the seat, & it felt like I was sitting in the dash, I can't drive like that I have to have leg room, it's just who I am. So after we filled up we headed off. It felt like I'd been driving for 5 minutes when I was told about that She wanted to stop. Between the knees in my back, being asked to keep the windows down & turn the stereo up, then them all yelling over the top of it at one another & shauny screaming in the back seat cause the music was to loud & they were screaming & the smell of alcohol while I was driving it was not a good trip. I don't think I will bother doing it again, I would have perfered Danni's mate Will & his Girlfriend Emily even though I don't get along with her.

Anyway, once we got to Wanganui we got lost a little, Laurent had a fair idea where we were going but it was hard to take his word because of the way he was giving directions. The trip back was heaps better, I was able to have the windows up, the stereo as loud as I want it & better still there was no screaming or knees in my back. I think I had a headache by the time we hit woodville on the way there. But we made it there & back in 1 piece plus it only cost us $47 to fill my tank, Danni put $50 in theres just out side of Wanganui & she had to put another $20 in when she got to Waipawa.

A few nights later I had to take Laurent to Waipuk, So he could drive Joseph up north cause him & his girlfriend have decided to move back to her home town again, which is a shame but never mind, can't have everything aye, it seems strange that my closest mate no-longer lives in Hawkes bay. I never thought he'd leave, he use to say he was always going to leave but it was Joseph, he use to say 1 thing & do another all the time.

I was going thru all the shit I brought back with me from wellington, I actually found shit that 1 I forgot I had & 2 that I never thought I took with me. I was shooked actually, but my mother has found use for 80% of it so thats a bonus.

I was thinking about going down & seeing Liz & a few others but to be honest I really can't be fucked cause people who I don't want to see or meet will want to catch up or meet & to be honest I can't be bothered with half the crap.

Now that I got my replacement phones Ive been catching up with a few people, I've been Texting Aaron & Jacqui a bit. I've caught up with Aaron since returning from Wellington but I haven't really caught up with Jacqui & she only lives about a 5-10 minute drive from here. I think we are both pretty slack aye. I should get off my ass & see her, but then again it's too bloody hot today to see anyone, let alone to go outside for a smoke.

I caught up with a mate last night but they asked me not to mention there name because they don't want to annoy to many others because they didn't see them, but the short catch up was good, seeing them reminded me how much I cared & shit about them, it was nice. Pitty its going to be a while till I see them again, but never mind.

Currently I'm hating this single shit cause a few mates wanted to go out last night with their partners & they asked me to go but I would have been the odd 1 out so yeah I didn't end up going. I know I'm normally the odd 1 out but not to that extent, they were like you might find someone or see people you haven't seen for ages, but nuh. I'm pretty glad I didn't go.

I gave speck & scks a bath yesterday, it was reather funny, they looked like over grown drowned rats, they needed the bath anyway cause their fur was starting to look & feel yuk plus it was hot, They didn't come near me for the rest of the day, they wouldn't even come when they were called, Gid's had to call them & put them away & feed them, snobby bitches. I think the only reason they like me today is cause I shared my chicken with them, buttime will tell.

Ohh yeah, we got digital installed finally after all these years of Gids saying he was going to do it, I'm rather happy about it, CARTOONS are on all day, its great. its a pitty I didn't have the money to get it installed in my room, I missed a bloody good movie last night all cause Gids wanted to watch soccer. Cathy has a new job at Heavens Bakery in Greenmedows the crazy bitch starts at 4:30am & finishes between 8am & 11am depending.

I should be cleaning my room but I really can't be bothered, I think I'm looking forward to Winter, nice & cool or should I say cold, heaps of rain which means I wont have to do shit..... could be fun.

I should also be cleaning my car inside & ot too, but the heat is over powering.

Anyway time to piss off.

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 03:21:02 GMT

Hello

NOW

Is your hair up? Yes

Is your phone right beside you? Nope

Do you have a bf/ gf? Nope

Do you wish you were somewhere else? No for once I don't

Do you have plans for tonight? Don't think so

Are you wearing makeup? No, I don't often wear it

Are you wearing chapstick? No.

Are you cold? No

Are you tired? No

Are you excited? Yes

Are you watching t.v? Yes

Are you wearing pajamas? Nope

Who's the last person you IMed? Jacqui

Who's the last person that called you? Maggot

PAST

Anything you regret? No

Ever lied? Yup.

Ever stuck gum under a desk? Yes

Ever spit at someone? Yes

Ever kick something living? Yes

Ever had your nails done? No, I bite them so whats the point in getting them done

Ever thrown up because you cried so hard? Yes

LAST WEEK

Had any plans last week? Yes, just the normal

Who did you see most last week? Wendy

Was last week interesting? No

TODAY

Have you cussed? Yes

Have you yelled at someone? No, but I have yelled at the dog

Have you gotten mad at someone? No

Have you cried? No

Have you called more than 3 people? No, I never call anyone now

Have you IMed more than 3 people? No

Have you eaten anything gross? No

SPILL YOUR GUTS

Q. First thing you did this morning?
A. Had a smoke
Q. Last thing you ate?
A. Chippies
Q. What's something you look forward to most in the next 6 weeks?
A. Selling the Honda
Q. What's annoying you right now?
A. The dog
Q. What's the last movie you saw?
A. Big Mommas House 2
Q. Do you believe in long distance relationships?
A. Not really, most of them turn to crap
Q Where is the last place you went?
A. Hastings
Q: Who is the last person you called?
A. Probably my mum but that was xmas day
Q: Been cheated on?
A: These days who hasn't
Q: Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
A. Yeah Probably, Wendy's probably thinking Im a bitch right about now
Q: Choose one to have (love, beauty, creativity)
A: Creativity
Q: Do you wish on stars?
A. Nope
Q: Does it work?
A: I don't know if it works, ask someone who has
Q: Do you untie your shoes every time you take them of?
A: I can't wear them at the moment but no I don't
Q: When did you last cry?
A: About a month or so ago
Q: Do you like your handwriting?
A: Yeah, I can read it so that's the main thing
Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: I don't think I am but others say different
Q: Are you keeping a secret from the world?
A: More than one
Q: Who's bed did you sleep in last night?
A: The cats, well they think it's their bed when it's mine! bitches
Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
A: Dark Blue
Q: Do you have any pets?
A: All up in the house theres 5 Cats, 3 Dogs, 10 Birds, 2 Goldfish and 1 Rat
Q: What is the color of your bedsheets?
A: Orange
Q: What were you doing at 9 last night?
A: Watching Big Mommas House 2
Q: last person you talked to?
A: Maggot
Q: When is the last time you saw your dad?
A: Ohh yip way back then, why have you seen him?
Q: Look to your left:
A: it's the lounge door
Q: Ever cried yourself to sleep?
A: Yes
Q: Ever cried on your friends shoulder?
A: Yes
Q: Song that makes you cry?
A: Haven't come accross 1 yet
Q: Are you a normally happy person?
A: No I'm normally a sarcastic bitch
Q: Is your self-esteem low?
A: Not to day
Q: What color are your eyes?
A: Blue/Grey
Q: Long or Short Hair?
A: Longish
Q: Current Music?
A: Play 'n' Skillz - Get Freaky (it's the shit)

Goodbye

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 00:54:10 GMT

So my Baybee Matt lost his job cause the company went bust pretty much over night. He went into work this morning & was given the bad news.
If your wondering who Matt is, he is my mate who I went to school with who recently came out & told us all he was gay, anyway. (Ohh yeah & he has the Hots for Danni's mate JB!!!!!

He lost his job, he was doing some IT shit for this company for almost 5 years, his mum reckons he will find another IT job, but that's not likely. At the moment Hawkes Bay aren't screaming out for IT workers, but not only that while he was working he didn't get the qualifications for it so the chances are rather slim, he applied for some jobs in Wellington & auckland but was told the chances of him getting them was slim because of not having the qualifications, so yeah I don't know what he's going to do. At the moment he has going back to working at his Dads Garage to make ends meet & he's doing graphic designs for cars too in his spare time.

He's got a good eye for detail & he's such a hunny, he's had a bit of a rough time these past few months so hopefully things will work out for him.

Anyway it's almost that time again where I jump in the car & go to Hastings to get Morgs, hope your all having & boring ass but wonderful day in some respect.

Cu!

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 10:52:15 GMT

mmmk so u can have a quiz

Name: Sarnia Hope Thorburn

Birthday: 01/04/1986

Birthplace: Napier

Current Location: Napier

Eye Color: Blue/Grey

Hair Color: Light Chocolate Brown (Due for another colour actually)

Height: About 5'5-5'7 I'm not sure

Right Handed or Left Handed: Right

The Shoes You Wore Today: None, I worn socks cause I can't get my foot in a shoe

Your Weakness: Not sure at the moment, a few I think.

Your Fears: Trains, Buses, Spiders & cockroaches.

My Favourite Colour: Black, Red & Blue

Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Lose the rest of the weight, & Get out of some more of the debt.

Your Most Overused Phrase On An Instant Messenger: Pass, ask the people I talk to when I'm online they could tell you (aye Jacqui) :P

Thoughts First Waking Up: Depends on the day. Tues, Wed & Fri 'Fuck gotta get morgs' any other day it's normally 'what the hell am I gonna do today'

Your Best Physical Feature: I'm the wrong person to ask this question! How am I suppose to know, I currently look at myself & think why the hell did or does anyone want me!

Your Bedtime: Anywhere between 9:30 & 12.

Your Most Missed Memory: Drinking with my friends, now I'm always the sober driver cause they know if I'm driving I will stay sober

Pepsi or Coke: Coke.

Best Fast Food: Can't decided they are all so good & so tempting.

Single or Group Dates: Neither

Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate

Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee it's faster to make

Do you Smoke: Yes, it's the only thing keeping me sane at the moment

Do you Swear: Yes, people would think I was mentally ill if I didn't (Some people know me to well)

Do you Sing: Yes when or if I'm in the mood, but normally no-one hears me

Do you Shower Daily: Yes,

Have you Been in Love: Yes, do I want it to happen again? No not if it hurts as much as it did other wise you can shove it.

Do You Want To Go To College: I thought I did, but all these wankers tried to make me feel stupid & in away it worked so no I fucking don't.

Do You Want To Get Married: Yes, but then again no, it's 50/50 at the moment.

Do You Belive In Yourself: No thanks to certain people.

Do you get Motion Sickness: So far no.

Do you think you are Attractive: Nope. To me I am the ugliest person to walk this earth.

Are you a Health Freak: No

Do You Get Along With Your Parents: Yes, at times you have to.

Do You Like Thunderstorms: Hell Yes!!!

Do You Play An Instrument: No, I did learn the drums but I wouldn't be able to play them now if my life depended on it

In The Past Month Have You Drank Alcohol: Yes, mmmmm Woodstock Burbons.

In The Past Month Have You Smoked: Yes on a daily basis

In The Past Month Have You Been on Drugs: Yes

In The Past Month Have You Gone On A Date: No

Am I White or Black : White with a bit of a tan but not black

In The Past Month Have You Eaten Sushi: Yuk no.

In The Past Month Have You Been On Stage: No

In The Past Month Have You Been Dumped: No

In The Past Month Have You Gone Skinny Dipping: No

In The Past Month Have You Stolen Anything: No

Ever Been Drunk: Yes

Ever Been Called a Tease: Yes

Ever been Beaten up: Yes, did I get revenge? Of corse

Ever Shoplifted: No

How Do You Want To Die: With a bang

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up: A bitch, ohh wait I've succeed at that, so I don't know

What Country Would You Most Like To Visit: South Africa

Number Of Drugs I Have Taken: enough, both legal & illegal.

Number Of CDs I Own: Sweet fuck all, 2-4 maybe if I'm lucky

Number Of Piercings: 3 in each ear, my tounge piercing is still open & my nose, not sure if I want anymore.

Number of Tattoos: None yet, but we have 4 designed now, just waiting for my mate to have enough spare time to do them.

Number Of Things In My Past I Regret: I'm not keen on the word Regret, I like the word mistake, had a few of them but you learn from them all.

My Favourite Girls Name: Never really thought about a girls name, maybe Monique

My Favourite Boys Name: Nate or Scott. I have a thing for the name Scott.

Ohh yeah update another time, I know I keep saying that but if you keep waiting it will happen.

extremly quick update

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 20:33:19 GMT

ok so now I have both phones and they are connected so if I had ur numbers give me a txt with ur name & if I don't already have it entred then I'll store it.

Quick update

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 20:32:33 GMT

Job hunting & weight loss not going to well due to a set back. Basically cause I have stuffed my ankel but all good for now.

Went to Wanganui Yesterday with Laurent, Danni, Kelly & Shauny to pick up Danni's new car. She got a Bright yellow Holden so no fears of not noticing that around town. The trip was ok sort of, only next time I wont be taking the likes of Kelly for the share fact that she was suppose to be a spare driver just encase Danni or myself got sore but instead she drank. then we had 6 fucking stops on the way there, & 1 on the way back. My car went well, I thought I was going to have problems but no!!!

I was going to text you Cat to see if you were alive & then arrange to meet but it wasn't till I got to the gorge & thought how did I miss Feilding???? but never mind always another day for a road trip.

Anyway that's all for now I might update more but then again I might not.

Cu

P.S... I got my replacement phones to. They only had my 027 in stock but they are ordering my 021 so they will ring when it gets in.

Dramas, dramas & more bloody dramas!!!

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 05:35:28 GMT

Last Monday we had Cathy's ex Scott here for some drinks & shit & lets just say it didn't end to well. He started being a dick & making threats & was asked to leave god knows how many times, in the end he got pushed in the pool & he lost both his phones. Made a big deal out of it for about an hour & in the end him & his 2 mates who turned up half way thru the evening fucked off. Was rather peaceful after that.

Tuesday was dull boring & uneventful, I think the only thing interesting about that day was I got my new speakers for my car that I'm not even using at the moment.

Then theres Wednesday. My 1st day back at the only type of job I have. I started picking up Morgan again. It's normally a Tuesday, Wendesday & Friday & I'm enjoying it again. I think last year the holidays couldn't come sooner but now she's back at school with a decent teacher & she's enjoying it. When I turned up on wednesday she didn't want to go home. It took about 15-20 minutes to get her to agree to go home. In a way it was a little annoying but then again I was happy to see her back to her old self & wanting to go to school & actually enjoy going. It's been a long time coming, the school should have done something about her old teacher when the complaints were made. It's not like they were being made for the share hell of it. They were being made for a reason. The teacher has no right to grab a student by the shirt & pull them closer just so you can yell at them. To me that is wrong. But enough of that subject.

Lets skip Thursday cause that was just a mellow day where I watched movies all day & didn't do anything else. It was my day.

Friday!!! The end of the week, started off with a shitty morning where nothing went right, then the afternoon consisted of waiting for a doctor & then running late to get Morgs. Well I got the in time I just didn't make it to her class. But she didn't hold it against me, actually she thought it was Thursday & that her Grandma had forgotten about her, but that wasn't the case.
I rolled my ankle last Monday, & normally the pain would last about an hour or so, but no this time it's still there so this is turning out to be a bloody long hour.
The doctor didn't want to do an x-ray because of the swelling so of course I've got to go thur the pain of going to the physio, but I think tomorrow he'll ask for an x-ray. fingers crossed he will. I'd like to know either way if I have just "badly sprained" it as he put it or what. I hate not knowing for sure, especially with this bloody pain & lack of movement. I think my fear is at the moment that if I don't have the x-ray soon then I'll go thru all this pain with physio only to find out it could have made the problem worse. but then again knowing my luck there will be nothing wrong, & I would have gone thru this pain & worry for nothing. Bloody ankles!!!!

I was asked by Wendy to stay at their place on Thursday night because Danni's going into hospital for the day, Wendy's going with her & I'll have leah for the day. Then I'll have to get shauny from School. Then most likely I'll have to pick them up from the Hospital. I think Tee is picking Morgs up that day & dropping her off so she can go back to Work but I'm not to sure. It's possible. But the reason I'm staying is cause I'll have to help Wendy out with the kids & I'll have to take shauny to school on the Friday, but I'm not sure yet. It's all up in the air.

But anyway back to doing what the Doctor said.... Rest the ankle, ohhh what fun!!!!!!! NOT!!!!

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 03:23:33 GMT

I was sitting here Reading Cats journal. & it hit me. I'm fucking Lazy when it comes to excersise! Since I got my licence I haven't walked far, Ive gotten into this habbit where if I can't get a park close to where I want to go then I will leave it and do it later.

I have no motivation! that is my problem. As Cat just said "It is hard to get motivated..you have to want to do iteh" & yes shes right you have to want to do it. I do want to loose my weight I gained while being with Chris, I want to go back to wearing the clothes I use to & feel comfortable in them. I suppose it's just the judgement that could happen while I'm out there that is putting me off, but I know once I'm finished loosing the weight & I'm happy with it I wont take any notice of it.

It doesn't help that when your having a fantasic day someone or something fucks it up & you feel like shit about it for days or weeks. But that's not an excuse. Here I am again making excuses & trying to make myself believe them I'm bloody hopeless.

At the moment I don't feel comfortable in anything I wear, I'm always worried that someone is going to say something, I mean 12kg since being back from Welly aint that much, especially when you think about how long I've been back for.
I am so sick of making excuses & better still I'm so sick of carrying round this weight. I mean to look at myself I know that it's not much but it's enough to fuck me off. I am better than this. I can pull it off & I can show myself what the fuck I was & have been missing out on.

I am past that stage of my life, I am past carrying round this extra weight, I am past stressing about going to a shop, infact I want to loose the exta weight, not only for my own reasons but also to rub in a few other peoples faces. like the ones who say "you'll never do it" So this is what I say to you: FUCK YOU!!!
It is going to happen, nuh, Im going to make it happen. Cheers Cat!!!!!

Anyway...

I'm getting into this bad habbit where I'll be listening to something & then all of a sudden I'm a world of my own & everyone around me gets shitty cause I'm not listening to them. Most of the time it's not even important, but I suppose it is to them.

We have decided that we aren't going to make a huge deal about my 21st, maybe a BBQ with mates & shit but not much drinking, to many of my mates are preggers & they aren't due till between June & Sept so we have all decided that the massive piss up aint happening till after then so thats all good, gives people plenty of warning, plus I don't want to shove the temptaion in their faces.

Ive come across this great song 'Ying Yang Twins - Naggin (Blah Blah Blah)' It's great! it's rather funny if you listen to it, rather offensive to females but if you put that a side then you'll see the funny side, if you don't then tough I suppose.

I am hoping to have my new phones this week, if the insurance company has finished dicking around, they have had the paper work over a week now & I can't blacklist my 021 till I get a piece of the paper work back because my mother didn't listen & sent in both parts of the police report thingy instead of the front half but never mind nothing I can do about it now. So fingures crossed most of you who gave me your numbers will get a text with my new numbers. Don't quote me though. I did say fingures crossed.

Ohh yeah... Sammy went Home yesterday, she seemed to have a good Christmas & birthday so thats the main thing & then she's back again in 9 weeks. It sounds like its ages but it's only 2mths & 1 week. It seems weird but this time I think I'm actually going to miss her, so as you can tell I can't wait for the next school holidays, but between now & then I'll spend more time with the kids & hopefully find work & I might even get my hair done finally, I've already put the money for Tee aside to do it, I just haven't gotten around to getting it done yet. Typical.

Anyway all for now I think

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 08:57:16 GMT

Ok just to give you all something to laugh about...

Todays been pretty shitty.

The job interview didn't go to well.

The fucking doctor took more blood for tests, my other road trip has been put on hold for now.

It's been stinking hot, I've been shitty for most of the day, I reckon it's one of those weeks, doesn't matter what you do or how you think about things it always seems to make you shitty.

I did quiet a bit of cleaning both here at home & at Danni's & Wendy's & now I'm felling the after effects. I threw my back out again, while cleaning the Subaru. I'm just glad the lap top is fixed now, cause I can lay in bed & the screen adjusts so I don't have to move & put up with the pain. But I suppose it's all good. the shitty mood will go, the heat will go but come back tomorrow if it doesn't rain & the back pain will ease tomorrow & I'll possibly be out of bed by 10am. if not then it looks like dvds & geeking for me tomorrow. But then again, it might be all good, I might wake up at 2am with no pain, who knows, only time will tell.

CU!

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 21:25:00 GMT

What alot of bullshit.

Don't ask me why I started this enty with that but I did.

I'm not the happiest of campers today, infact I'm rather slack, rather tired & rather bitchy, but try not to hold it against me.

I have a job interview tomorrow which probably isn't going to go as well as I like it because I also want to study & I'm going to have to ask if it is possible to have 1 or half a week day to go into a school & shit. I'm going to do a teachers aid course & go from there, if I enjoy it then I'll spend the time & energy doing the rest. I don't want to spend all this time & energy on studying only to find out I don't like the job in the end, where with this teachers aid course in the end if I don't like working in a school I can still do some tutoring outside the school.

It's Bill day, where I wake up with some money & then by lunch time today I'll have none! aint it great. HAHA!!!
Nuh it's all good, I'll have enough to get a feed & put Gas in the car so that's all good. As long as I can get in it & go somewhere I don't care.

I was suppose to be going to Wellington this weekend to pick up a mate from the airport but I think they are going to get a flight up here instead. Which will be good if he can other wise I'll take someone with me so the trip aint boring. The Subaru doesn't have a cd player..... ARGH!!!!! long trip no cds!

Anyway gotta go pay bills so CU!!!!!

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 06:48:14 GMT

So here I am,

On a hot day, sitting at the computer, waiting for Dinner, Drinking and in PJ's.
It's been far to hot to do much else today, I know it's not the hottest day we've had this summer but we've had sweet fuck all wind, and it doesn't seem to matter where you sit the heat is right there! It's like standing over an oven of some sort.

I was suppose to go to Woodville today for the motor cross but I didn't get that far. I lent my car to Danni because her one was "suppose" to be getting fixed but now they are selling it & they are going to buy another one on Tuesday but that's not the reason I didn't go. I have put around $50 in my brothers Subaru since Wednesday & I've only used it once. the reson I put the gas in was to go to Woodville & when I got home last night I was told that his BIT Cathy was using the car today when he clearly knew I was going to the motor cross, but never mind, it's never worth an argument because in the end I just walk away & it happens anyway, So I'll have a look on the net later to see who won what & shit & that will be in, but if there's no gas in the car & she refuses to put any in then it wont be the end of it.

I've got Sammy's birthday next friday so that's going to be interesting, more fucking fighting at Danni's, heres hoping she has told the loser Justin to fuck off by then. He's a real mental case. He'll start drinking & when he gets to a certain stage he starts to pick fights with everyone, & it will be over the stupidest things like Danni laughing cause kelly got a shock from some game & spilt beer or burbon on herself. He's always paranoid & always walks around the house & freaks the kids out & worst of all he taps his feet.
But to sum it up Danni ended things with him last week & said he could stay till he finds somewhere else, but he hasn't bother to try, he still picks fights & she's starting to snap at the kids rather than tell him to pack his gear & leave. But never mind nothing I can do at the moment till I'm asked to help in some way.

There was a few other things but dinner is ready & I've forgotten what it was, so if I remember I'll add them later.

LIZ I STOLE IT!!!!!!!!

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 05:11:12 GMT

4 YEARS AGO...

How old were you?: 16
What school year were you in?: Yr 11
Where did you go to school?: Colenso High
Where did you work?: n/a
Where did you live?: Napier
Where did you hang out?: Hastings
How was your hair style? Black, Thick and ALL 1 Lenght
Did you wear braces?: Nope
Did you wear glasses: Nope
Who was your best friend?: Toni-Ann
Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend? Josh
Who was your celebrity crush? Reality Hit, it wasn't going to happen
Who was your regular-person crush? At the time, I know who but I won't answer
How many piercings did you have? 5
How many tattoos did you have? None
What was your favorite band? Pass
Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: Yip
Had you gotten drunk or high yet: Yip on a regular basis
Had you driven yet: No.
Had you been to a real party yet? Yip
Had your heart been broken? Yes

TODAY...

How old are you?: 20
Where do you go to school? Don't
Where do you work? n/a
Where do you live?: Napier
Where do you hang out? Hastings, Napier, Clive & Bay view
How is your hair style?: Colour Has change to a chocolate brown, & now its styled some how
Do you have braces? No
Do you wear glasses?: No
Who is your best friend? Still Toni-Ann
Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend? No one
Who is your celebrity crush? Reality is still there
Who is your regular-person crush? Same as above
How many piercings do you have?: 4
How many tattoos do you have?: None, but apparently everyone from hastings is chipping in for 1 for my 21st
Have you smoked a cigarette yet?: Yip
Have you gotten drunk or high yet? Yes
Have you driven yet? Yes
Have you been to a real party? Yes
Has your heart been broken? Yes

Quick update for plans ahead

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 04:52:03 GMT

Well 21st is on the horizon... (still 3mths away but still)

Plans are starting to happen.........

So far we have decided that it's happening on the 30th/31st of March all because my birthday falls on a Sunday, we have decided on some kegs & shit, apparently I'm not allowed to plan anything all I'm suppose to do is inform people, Gids & Danni + her mum are planning the rest. So to sum it up I'm gonna be so smashed I'm most likely going to have a hangover for a month.

Anyway I have informed u people... so now my job is done, don't treat it like an invite treat as a warning, so u know if u get a random txt u will know what its for. & yes there will be a few people I would appreciate if they didn't turn up but I suppose seeing as I'll be starting the Thursday before I'll be to smashed to worry about it later & I wont have to see any of u again till the next big event somewhere along the lines...

Ha fucking Ha!!!

Cu!

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 05:55:13 GMT

YAY!!!!!!!!

18mths of being back in Napier, sounds stupid but it was the best thing I did. It's made me realise that yes I'd like to settle at some point maybe (if it works out) & yes I'd like to have a child or two. Yes that's right I just said that.

Plus JB & I have a great agreement. We even have it in writing. If I have a child & it is a boy I am going to hand over custody of him to JB with the conditions that I will be able to see him & that my family could see him if they want to. I made this choice because I was with him the day he found out he cant have kids & when he came out about being Gay & I don't care what anyone else says, if I can help by giving him the chance then screw the world.

But we will see.

On a good note, I have found my birth cretificate so on Monday I can go & pay for my licence & then put in my insurance to replace my cell phones. plus they are going to reimburse me for the cost of replacing all my cards & shit in my wallet & the cost of getting a new wallet. Good on ya Tower.

anyway that's all for now....

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:20:10 GMT

So not many of you know but I've been away for the past 2 weeks.

But during that period both my 021 & my 027 cell phones were stolen so to anyone who has texted since the 15th I'm sorry I haven't replied but now I'm trying to get my numbers back so when I replace my phones I can store them.

So if I had your number please leave a comment with your name & number and I'll add it. All comments will be screened & once I've added them or writen them down I will delete the comments so numbers wont be passed on. Or if you have my email addy then you can email me.

I'll update more later on.

My new years eve!!!

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 06:16:44 GMT

So it went a lil like this.....

Went & saw the kids around 2pm, took then to Tee's for the casino night at 5pm, took them home just after 12am.

I was then the sober driver cause I hadn't had anything to drink.......

Tokk Carrie, Alice, Arron & Calum (how ever you spell it) home to flaxmare, then went back to Tee's to pick up J & take him to Taradale, went back to Tee's again popped a few "no doz" has a bit of fun, went to the pub around 2:30am just to see who was there & to catch up with a few people then left again.

We went back to Tee's once again then decided to leave the guys home & head to napier to catch up with seith & go to a party..... My poor car, 7 people it had in it & it's only a toyota levin but never mind.

Pissed off to 1 house nothing happened went to another & it was just starting, caught up with heapz of people I knew then around 5am we decided it was time to go, dropped Della off in Taradale, dropped Danni off home then went back to Tee's for about an hour.

Della was fucked, Danni was fucked & Tee well she was a complete write off.

Got home around 6:45am, had what felt like 8 coffees but was only about 4 & a half & crashed for 2 hours, went to Danni's to off load all the booze in my car from the morning booze cruise then came home again to find my brother awake looking a bit seedy & now to top it off I'm suppose to be sober driving tonight so thats going to be interesting. hopefully they can get a ride to where ever they are going & I'll pick them up I might be able to fit a few hours sleep in.

Anyway time to eat, got the mean munchies!!!!!

My main Goal

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 06:50:00 GMT

Ok so here goes.......

My main goal's to complete by this time next year!!!!!

1 Catch up with Cat before my 21st!!!!!!!!!

2 Loose some more weight anywhere between 10 & 15kg & I'll be stoked.

3 Go back up to Hamilton for longer than 1 day

4 Catch up with all my mates from round the bay

5 Start going out & enjoying myself

6 Gain my confidence in a manual again

and last but not least

7 ..... START TRUSTING MALES AGAIN!!!!!

anyway need another drink... there's a party going on at Danni's all my idea & hear I am on this thing........ yeah bye!

Wanker!

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 21:54:02 GMT

Just to let you all know, I found out at around 2pm xmas day that my man aint comming back, he shacked up with some chick so has decided to stay, so yeah all males suck & so do some frinds.

anyway got trashed on xmas day fucked off to hastings at 3 to see the kids and Danni & just broke into a thousand pieces so then she decided we were going to get trashed. we played some shock game and I got shocked twice and she got shocked once and wasted a whole bottle of burbon, she split it on her self. but yeah got wasted, got a ride home then got wasted again yesterday so I'm going back to hastings today and then we will go from there.

so to sum it up....

got cheated on then got dumped via a text, got trashed, then got trashed agin & soon I'll be in hastings.

Ohh yeah Cat I might come thru and see you at some point, I was going to do a day trip to Wellington but really can't be fucked so I'll see how much I have left after paying my bills tomorrow & then go from there, hope your doing ok I really must catch up with you but at the moment I shall leave it till I get over the whole "lets get drunk to forget the pain" buzz.

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 05:04:23 GMT

Cat, I was going to leave a comment but this will be just as easy, In a way I know what your going thru which is probably why I have kept my distance, I've been afraid that if I say anything it might come out wrong & then yeah you know me...

Can't say anything with out fucking it up & pissing someone off, I donno what it is.

& well as for Liz, well sorry to say miss Liz but the same applies to you, you know me so well that you almost know what Im going to say & you get your comeback all ready & pow!!! but never mind, you know me, say something feel stink about it & then go into hiding for a few days, weeks, or months & then I return.

And come to think about it I haven't spoken to Chris properly since about January I think, I've gotten to the stage where if I talk to him on a regular basis I'll end up hating him, some people say I've got the right but I don't want to hate.

anyway.....

here I am on christmas eve wondering what Im going to do & stuff but never mind I shall leave it as that, I'm bored Im rambling & better still Im starting to piss my self off so cu

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 08:38:16 GMT

Helloooooooo

Well time for an update.

Things are ok I suppose could be a little bit better but we can't have everything now can we.

Things have changed for christmas day, the boy is heading out of own to see his grandmother but that's ok, & as for drinks at Danni's I don't think I'll bother not if the same morons are going to be there, I'll go over & dop the presents off and then probaby leave. But Sammy arrived today so Shauny is over the moon.

What else???

Just got a massive fright rom some fireworks, theres a christmas thing in the park close to here so yeah, but anyway as I was about to say, I'm never lending my shit out again, my wireless key board is fucked, you've gotta push down hard on the keys & it takes about 8 attempts to complete 1 sentence. Fucking brothers I tell you & bloody online games, he shouldn't have a computer, better still he shouldn't play games. Oh & 1 of my playstation games is missing, 1 is fucked, 1 controller s fucked, & my cds are fucked too.

Anyway I gotta go, I gotta calm my cats & dog down, they hate fireworks